Potty mouth, poopy puddles and more!

Wow. It's been nearly a month since my last post? What happened? Oh. ChristmasNewYearsStartedClassParentsInTownWorkingAtCardinalsGamesWowIveBeenBusy.

Latest developments? Cael had his first and second visit to Chuck E. Cheese, which is his new favorite restaurant. Colton has discovered peekaboo -- hiding behind toys, blankets, the red plastic fireman hat, and even his own little fingers. So cute! You can see how pleased he is with himself from the big grin on his face.

It's a big, toothy grin. At the moment, Colton has an eighth tooth just poking through. Teething for the Schwartz boys is an ordeal generally involving excessive poop and diaper rash. Unfortunately for Colton, the most recent two teeth have also involved an ongoing ear infection and a bunch of antibiotics. Unfortunately for Mommy and Daddy (and Nahna and Dahda and Nana and Pops and Donna and Sarah), the antibiotics have involved a lot of throwing up and pooping.

A lot.

So in a rare moment of domestic tranquility Saturday morning, Colton was feeling well and happy and was playing in the living room with Cael. I could see them from my seat at the kitchen table as I sipped my coffee and flipped through a cookbook. Bliss.

Cael said, "Look at him! Look at my brother!" I looked. It looked like a sweet picture of brotherly love. I smiled and waved and went back to the cookbooks. Then, I heard Cael say, "No Colton. That's dirty!"

Uh oh.

I bolted out of my seat with Adam at my heels to discover Colton sitting literally in a puddle of poo. A wet, wet, green, antibiotics-plus-teething-induced puddle of slimy poo. At least it was on the tile floor. Adam ran for the rags, and I began lifting Colton out of the puddle.

There comes a moment in every parent's life when you realize that handling the situation will involve getting poop on yourself. This was that moment.

As I began lifting Colton to his feet, he slipped, squishing back onto his bottom. I swore -- an inappropriate pun. Adam arrived, wrapped Colton's poopy legs in rags, and together we carried him straight to the bathtub, as Cael followed us down the hall saying "Sh*t." I laughed a little. To myself.

Ah, Saturday at the Schwartz house.