Potty mouth, poopy puddles and more!

Wow. It's been nearly a month since my last post? What happened? Oh. ChristmasNewYearsStartedClassParentsInTownWorkingAtCardinalsGamesWowIveBeenBusy.

Latest developments? Cael had his first and second visit to Chuck E. Cheese, which is his new favorite restaurant. Colton has discovered peekaboo -- hiding behind toys, blankets, the red plastic fireman hat, and even his own little fingers. So cute! You can see how pleased he is with himself from the big grin on his face.

It's a big, toothy grin. At the moment, Colton has an eighth tooth just poking through. Teething for the Schwartz boys is an ordeal generally involving excessive poop and diaper rash. Unfortunately for Colton, the most recent two teeth have also involved an ongoing ear infection and a bunch of antibiotics. Unfortunately for Mommy and Daddy (and Nahna and Dahda and Nana and Pops and Donna and Sarah), the antibiotics have involved a lot of throwing up and pooping.

A lot.

So in a rare moment of domestic tranquility Saturday morning, Colton was feeling well and happy and was playing in the living room with Cael. I could see them from my seat at the kitchen table as I sipped my coffee and flipped through a cookbook. Bliss.

Cael said, "Look at him! Look at my brother!" I looked. It looked like a sweet picture of brotherly love. I smiled and waved and went back to the cookbooks. Then, I heard Cael say, "No Colton. That's dirty!"

Uh oh.

I bolted out of my seat with Adam at my heels to discover Colton sitting literally in a puddle of poo. A wet, wet, green, antibiotics-plus-teething-induced puddle of slimy poo. At least it was on the tile floor. Adam ran for the rags, and I began lifting Colton out of the puddle.

There comes a moment in every parent's life when you realize that handling the situation will involve getting poop on yourself. This was that moment.

As I began lifting Colton to his feet, he slipped, squishing back onto his bottom. I swore -- an inappropriate pun. Adam arrived, wrapped Colton's poopy legs in rags, and together we carried him straight to the bathtub, as Cael followed us down the hall saying "Sh*t." I laughed a little. To myself.

Ah, Saturday at the Schwartz house.

I Got a PUMP!

Speaking of Nana and Pops' arrival... what a spectacular welcome they got from Cael. No sooner were they in the door, than Cael was racing ecstatically around the house, pulling out every single toy from every single tidily-stowed basket to show them to Nana and Pops.

"Look, Nana! I got Elmo! He dances."

"Look, Pops! I got tools!"

Racing to the living room, he dumps out an entire bin of building blocks. "Look! My blocks!"

"This is my monkey sock!" (Referring to his Sock Monkey jack-in-the-box.)

Then, racing back to the hallway where we have stowed miscellaneous toys in baskets, Cael hauls out the pièce de résistance -- a plastic pump for Adam's exercise ball.

"Look! I got a PUMP!"

???

Waving Bye-Bye

Colton impressed me the other day. Nana and Pops had arrived in town and were leaving our house after dinner to return to the RV Park and some well-deserved rest. We stood on the front porch, and I watched as Cael gleefully jumped around the front yard, waving and yelling "Bye-Bye Nana and Pops," at the top of his lungs. As the truck drove away I looked down to see Colton, arm outstretched, apparently waving goodbye.

I didn't want to get too excited. I mean, I'd been working with him, shaking his arm when I said goodbye on his behalf. But he'd never done that before!

Then, on another occasion, he did it again. And again. And again! This morning, Colton waved goodbye to me! How sweet is he?

Walking and Talking and Driving Carefully

Colton is walking! In the week leading up to Thanksgiving (11/26 this year), he started taking tiny, shuffling steps. Now, two weeks later, the kid really walks. He still crawls when he wants to cover some distance. And man, that kid is a fast crawler, even if he still looks like he's limping -- left knee, right foot, left knee, right foot. Cael crawled the same way -- you wouldn't think something like that would be genetic, but apparently so. But I digress. Did I tell you Colton is walking?! So exciting!

And Cael? Cael is talking. Which is nothing new. But oh, the things he says! The latest cute thing is to drag out the good nights.

Me: Good night, buddy. I love you. See you in the morning. (heading for the door)
Cael: Good night, Mommy
Me: Good night buddy (standing in the doorway)
Cael: I love you
Me: I love you too, buddy (reaching for doorknob)
Cael: See you tomorrow
Me: See you tomorrow (trying to close the door)
Cael: Drive carefully
Me: Thanks buddy. Night night. (closing door)
Cael: Mommy! Mommy! Drive CAREfully!
Me: (opening door) Drive carefully, buddy. Good night. (closing door and running)

Half a Cow, Dude

Yes, Colton was a cow for Halloween. Or rather, half a cow. Because the boy is HUGE and he didn't fit into the 18-month size cow costume. It had little hoof-footies at the bottom and a cute cow-head hood at the top. Only, after snapping poor Colton into the footies, you couldn't pull the hood up without squishing him. Poor kid.

The hood, however, was key to the cow-persona. So we unsnapped the bottom and pulled his poor, squashed legs out. Colton was all cow on top, and bare-legged baby on the bottom.

Cael was a clown. Again. The costume was Adam's when he was that age, and it was a little big last year and a little short this year. Last year we had a football game on Halloween, and Cael really didn't quite "get" Halloween. I'm pretty sure the clown costume was just another outfit to him. But this year? This year we painted his face, and he kept the hat on the whole time. He said "Trick or Treat," and "Thank you," and "Happy Halloween!" Such a big boy! We trick-or-treated at both ends of our cul-de-sac and called it a night as Cael staggered home.

He's Gonna Be a Cow

So yesterday morning, I got a call from Sylvia (aka Nahna) confirming their plans to pick up the boys from daycare and take them to Fry's for a Halloween spectacular, followed by an overnight at their house. I confirmed that I had packed an overnight bag with clothes for both boys.

And then she said, "Colton's going to be a cow." I laughed a "yeah," thinking that while Colton is big, he is also super-tall, and it's a little surprising that Sylvia was kind of insulting my kid with her choice of words there.

And then she said, "and I bought a vampire costume for Cael."

Oh. [smacks forehead] Sorry, little dude.

Wet One, Dry One

So this morning, Cael woke up dry. Let's take a moment to celebrate before we move on, shall we? Yaaayyyyyyy!!!! Yes, I was very proud of my big boy this morning. We called Daddy and made sure to let Donna and Sarah from daycare know, too.

Cael woke up dry once before, but that time, he was up in the middle of the night to pee (an impressive feat in and of itself). Last night, he was up moments after we put him to bed -- peeing as a means of putting off the inevitable bedtime -- but then slept through the night. Dry! I was pretty stoked.

Colton? Woke up soaked to the armpits, poor kid. It must have been all that water he drank at the Elks lodge last night during dinner. Bad Mommy forgot to bring any food or milk for poor Colton. But I don't think he suffered. He enjoyed some stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy. People-food. He couldn't get enough! Cleaned his plate and then our friend Irma's too. Guess it's time to start planning our dinners with a (mostly) toothless one in mind (again). I know Colton couldn't agree more. Bring on the mashed potatoes and gravy!